


No looking back

by ProblematicDS



Category: Blindspot
Genre: Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Why Did I Write This?, i only write mature content, includes non consensual acts, mature content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 23:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20054086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProblematicDS/pseuds/ProblematicDS
Summary: During the interrogation in 4x10 Reade scares Zapata which brings some skeletons out of her closet.OrZapata wasn’t always a tough cookie





	1. Chapter 1

“You work for me now. I’m your new handler” Agent Edgar Reade sat across from his former colleague staring her deeply into her dark brown eyes daring her to refuse. His rough jaw line clenched at the site of the tears that threatened to seep onto her cheeks. Were those fake too? Was this all just some elaborate ploy to avoid the dark secluded hole the CIA would have deemed her new home? The sight of her face vexed him. 

“Reade” Tasha tried. “YOU have a function.” he slammed his hand down on the metal table making Tasha flinch as the tears finally streamed down her face. “And you will serve it until that function is over.” He spat the words out through clenched teeth and clenched fists. She had never seen Reade that mad before. Tasha looked as if she had something to say but decided against it when she saw that Reade was staring at her as if at any second he would lunge across the table and let her have it. She mindlessly fiddled with her handcuffs which she thinks Reade intentionally put on much too tight making her wrists red and raw from being shackled to the table like a common criminal. The things she did for her country. 

“All you had to do was tell me.” Reade exhaled letting out a tiny bit of frustration with it. Tasha intentionally avoided his gaze choosing to stare at a random white wall in the back of the room which sent Reade reeling. He quickly stood up and forcibly grabbed her jaw making her look him directly in the eyes. Tasha’s heart rate quickened and for the first time since knowing her former partner she was afraid of him. Even when he stood over a bloody lifeless body in the dead of night she hadn’t feared him, but in this very moment fear radiated through her body. She was afraid that his anger might get the best of him, she was afraid of the look in his eyes that she didn’t recognize and how it reminded her of her first trainer, but what scared her the most was the thought of him never being able to forgive her. She held her breath staring up at him. He was far too close.

“Me and you? we’re done.” Tasha wasn’t sure if he did it on purpose, but spit flew all over her face making her face scrunch up as she held her head down. This triggered a memory that Tasha did her best to push to the back of her head. ” No.No.” Tasha half whispered to herself. Reade roughly made her look at him once more and his nails dug deep into her skin making Tasha whimper a bit. “Finished. Whatever relationship, friendship, whatever this was we had it’s OVER.” He still had a firm grip on her jaw making her head move with each word he spat. Tasha’s mind flashed to being in the passenger seat of a squad car terrified of what her Captain was going to do to her next. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. 

Edgar brought their foreheads together so that they were touching this time bringing his right hand down to rest gently on her neck threatening to squeeze at any moment. His face was no longer his own but was that of her old Captain. White brunette male, about twenty years older and evil. Tasha let out a breath she was holding but it came out more like a weak sob. She shook her head and Reades’ face became his own again.  
“Reade, I” she tried again but Reade held a finger to her lips telling her to “Ssshh” Tasha swallowed another cry more so for the friendship lost than her current situation. “You will never get close to me again.” he whispered into her ear dragging his thumb across her lips. She was so confused. She tasted her salty tears dripping down into her mouth as she shifted in her seat. He pulled back immediately sitting back in his seat and Tasha didn’t know whether to look at him or look away. She awkwardly looked around the room and briefly glanced at Reade who was once again staring at her with distaste. She bit down on her lower lip; something she did when she was nervous. 

“You’re going back out.” He finally broke the silence. Tasha’s eyes were a mixture of anticipation and fear. She only had a little while longer before she was supposed to meet Deltoro or hundreds of people could die. “Tonight?” she asked sniffling and hating that she sounded so unsure about herself. “Yes, tonight” Reade mocked her making her feel so stupid. All of this reminded her too much of her horrifying experience at her very first precinct making Tasha extremely antsy. She tapped her leg as she waited for things to play out. Damn these cuffs. Reade stood up and his tall frame made Zapata feel so small; again she held her breath and averted her eyes. Slowly walking around the metal table he never took his eyes off of Zapata. She could feel him standing directly behind her as she stared straight ahead with her hands flat on the table. She wondered if the team were watching the cameras.  
Her chest quickly rose up and down as she waited to see exactly what the hell he was doing. She could feel his breath next to her ear as he leaned down “You will serve your function until that function is over” He whispered into her right ear. He uncuffed her with one swift motion and Zapata immediately began to rub her wrists that were on the verge of bleeding. Reade rounded the room opening the door. Tasha still sat in the same spot looking up at him as if at any moment he’s going to laugh and say ‘Jokes on you’. “I don’t have all day Zapata and from what I hear neither do you” They maintained unwavering eye contact. Zapata could still see the old Reade in there somewhere it was just buried; masked by all of the resentment. Tasha wasn’t sure if he was seriously going to let her walk.  
“Zapata!” Reade repeated this time raising his voice so that she knew he was serious. Zapata slowly stood to her feet and approached the door wiping her face with the back of her hand. She knew that the team would be there to watch her make an exit and she didn’t want them to see her so unguarded. 

As she drew near the open door Reade slammed it shut almost closing her fingers inside of it. ‘Just like Captain Newton’ She thought. She slightly glanced in his direction swallowing whatever curse words she wanted to spew at him. The CIA agent kept her eyes trained on the door in front of her. Reade bent down looming over his much shorter partner. “ If I find out you’ve been lying about an inch of any of this I swear i’ll put you in a hole myself.” he spoke through gritted teeth making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. He meant it. “Do I make myself clear?” he asked with one hand on the door knob. 

“You understand me?” Zapata heard Captain Newtons’ voice this time. “I said, am I clear?” she heard his voice again. Zapata looked Reade square in the eye  
“Crystal.” 

Tasha and Reade both rounded the corner of the New York office and to no one's surprise the entire team stood in the middle of the room staring at the two agents as they made their way towards the elevator. Zapata dared not to look at any of them instead she solely concentrated on making it to the elevator without crying. 

Reade pushed the button for the main floor of the building and the two waited in awkward silence. After what seemed like a century the elevator doors chimed open and Zapata hurried in pressing the ‘door close’ button and refusing to look at her ex partner. “All you had to do was tell me.” Reade stated with puppy dog eyes as the doors shut unbelievably slow. As soon as the doors shut Zapata slid to the floor her bravado wore off instantly as several memories from the past and present flooded her brain all at once. She couldn’t breathe. All of the air seemed to have left her body and she couldn’t stop heaving. She was having a panic attack but knew she that she had to meet deltoro in a couple of hours so she dusted herself off as she stood and prepared for the doors to open at the lobby. Play it cool Zapata. Play it cool.


	2. Nice to meet you Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zapata can’t stop herself from reliving her horrible memories.

As Zapata drove closer to her meeting point with Deltoro the newfound memories wouldn’t leave her alone. She did her best to push them all down but they kept coming like a swarm of bees. 

Flashback 

It started as a slight touch along her lower back, brush up on her bum, or a slight graze along her neck but now Officer Zapata found herself trying to avoid her Supervisory Officer like the plague. She had only been on the squad for a couple of weeks when he first took an interest in her.

“Ah, Officer Zapata” he greeted the eager rookie with a firm grip staring down slightly into her eyes taking in the curve of her lips. He noticed how much he enjoyed looking at her curvy shape in which still showed despite the Uniform. He was well above 6 feet and Tasha found herself feeling like a child under his deep dark gaze and clenched jaw. “Captain Newton nice to finally meet you” she greeted with a warm smile despite feeling uneasy about his gawking. His reputation didn’t match the intense glare that he now displayed on his old but handsome face. Everyone always boasted about what a great guy he was and how he took such good care of his team. “I heard you were at the top of your class and pretty handy with a pistol.” He hovered over her small frame sizing her up and making Tasha even more uncomfortable. He was way too close. She fiddled with her uniform sleeve trying not to look at him in his eye “Give me any weapon and I can find a use for it” Tasha joked doing her best to ease the awkwardness. “I bet” he responded with a sadistic smirk while leaning into his office threshold giving the young officer yet another once over. He noticed how she swallowed hard and averted her eyes to something behind him. He chuckled having completed his goal and sat back down at his desk.

“Well the streets aren’t gonna save it self now is it?” He added with a smile as Zapata was already thinking about a reason she had to get going. “Totally right.” She smirked slightly and made a quick exit.

A Few Hours Later

“Okay, okay Here comes the big question. If you get this wrong your status as my trainer is very questionable” Tasha stated as she stuffed her face with a turkey sandwich. She sat in the break room waiting for her time to play beat cop for a couple more hours. Silas, her trainer and closest friend at the precinct waited for the ridiculous question he knew was coming. She was always joking around and he loved it; most cops there tried to be too serious all of the time and he found it nauseating. “Yankees or Mets?” Tasha asked with a mouth full of food.

“Number one: you’re disgusting.” He joked “and number two: I-“ Silas was interrupted by the room door that was swung open way too hard making Tasha jump and almost spit out her sandwich.“Silas!” Tasha could hear a booming voice behind her and didn’t have to turn around to know who it belonged to. “ John! How’s it going?” Silas stood up to greet his Captain who’s been on vacation for quite some time. “It’s going” Captain Newton chuckled as he and Silas hugged briefly. “Glad to be back though. The wife was starting to bug.” “Yeah that’s their job” Silas added “have you met one of our new recruits” Tasha’s trainer rounded the table and placed a hand on her shoulder. Zapata smirked up at her Captain barely meeting his eye.

“Of course” he glanced between Zapata and Silas and Tasha couldn’t decipher what flashed in his eyes. “In fact I’ll be personally supervising her patrols from here on out. “ Captain Newton smiled and Silas and Zapata exchanged looks. “That won’t be a problem will it?” John added noticing the disgruntled look on both of the young officers faces. There was a beat in the room. “Absolutely not” Silas stated patting Tasha on her back. “Just be careful she’s a bit of a firecracker” Silas joked. Tasha bit the inside of her cheek she had a bad feeling about this. “Oh that won’t be a problem” He winked at Tasha and made an exit. 

“Well looks like you’ve got yourself a new partner” Silas sat back down. Tasha huffed and slid down in her chair. “Don’t worry” Silas playfully tapped her hand “Captain Newton is one of the best. You’re in good hands.” “Thanks Allstate guy.” Tasha half smirked she was really gonna miss working with Silas he was one of the few there with an actual personality and just an all around good person. Silas chuckled “see! just be yourself, tell him one of your horrible jokes and you’ll be just fine.” “Thanks Silas. I’m gonna miss your face.” She fake pouted. “I’ll be around.”

Not even twenty minutes later Zapata found herself in the passenger seat of a squad car with her captain. The awkward silence that filled the small squad car grew thicker with every agonizing mile. Usually Tasha was a very talkative person but something about Captain Newton made her very tense. “So how are you liking it so far? Everyone’s treating you alright?” The Captain finally spoke breaking the awkward barrier. “Oh yeah, it’s great everyone welcomed me with open arms and the perps on the street are starting to respect me badge or not.” Tasha responded. 

“Oh really? Well Silas was not wrong about you being a firecracker was he?” Newton parked the car across from a local bodega and Zapata glanced up at him nervously. Why did every word coming out of that man's mouth sound like he had an angle? Newton caught a glimpse of her uncertainty and it made his dick twitch in his pants. God she was so beautiful. “Don’t worry, I like to play with firecrackers” Newton stared at Tasha and she quickly glanced out of the window, unsure of what to say to that. 

He loved to push his limits and see just what kind of woman he was dealing with. Something told him he was gonna have a grand old time being Zapatas’ trainer. Usually she would have told someone off hours ago but this was her Captain and she was a rookie she didn’t want any unnecessary problems.

“So are we on foot today or just cruising around?” Zapata did her best to change the subject. She side eyed him and saw that his jaw was clenched so tight that the sight of it made Tasha recoil. She didn’t do well with overly aggressive men. 

The tension made Zapata very agitated and she started to lightly bite the inside of her cheek. She had butterflies in her stomach and not the good kind. Staring out of the window again she felt his hand tuck a stray hair behind her ear, lightly grazing her neck in the process. Her entire body tensed. “You know, that hair is supposed to be up” he whispered a little too close to her ear. Tasha’s eyes fixated on her hands that were shaking a bit in her lap. She was at a crossroads. Did she easily make this guy regret his advances with a quick jab or handle it professionally? She chose the latter.

“Captain Newton” she hated how her voice shook just above a whisper and took a deep breath. “Call me John” He was about twenty years older than the young Officer but he didn’t care. “Captain Newton” Zapata started again. “I would really appreciate it if we kept it professional.” She did her best to smile but her heart rate wouldn’t allow it. “Why? You and Silas a thing?” He grew angry and spoke loudly in the small car. Zapata flinched; the young Officer was not as confident as she would come to be in a couple of years. “No! Silas is my friend and besides he’s married” Tasha finally looked over at him “and so are you” she added a bit quieter. 

He quickly grabbed her face and shoved her head towards the window holding her there and squeezing on her jaw. Zapata let out a short pathetic scream and he quickly covered her mouth. “Don’t ever mention my wife again you hear me?” He spoke with so much aggression that there was spit all over Tasha’s face. She quickly nodded too afraid to speak. He released her and grabbed onto the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. 

“You’re gonna learn how things work around here pretty quickly.” His voice now calm. Zapata let a tear fall down her cheek as she stared straight ahead her chest heaving in and out. She was on the verge of having a panic attack and couldn’t seem to catch her breath. “You hear me?” He turned in his seat to face her. She was still trying to control her breathing. “Y-yes” She sputtered out trying to process what had just happened. Things escalated way too quickly and her brain felt fuzzy. 

“Listen.” Newton sighed gently cupping Tasha’s face in his hand turning her to face him. “I don’t like being that way so don’t make me into something I’m not okay?” He brought his forehead to hers and held it there for an unbearable amount of time. Tasha’s chest heaved and he could feel her breath on his top lip making him excited. “Answer me.” He whispered still holding her face in place. “Yes sir.” Tasha hates herself she wanted to crawl into a cave and die. “I told you what to call me now didn’t I?” His lips now traced the lining of her ear. Zapata became stiff bringing her shoulder up to her ear to try and brush his mouth off. His grip tightened on her face making her whimper under his touch. “Say it” he whispered trailing a finger slowly down her neck. “Yes...John” she spat the name out like it was bile. He immediately turned her loose and she sat back in her seat letting out a breath she was holding. “Alright!” He yelled excitedly as he smacked the steering wheel.”ready to do some work?” He beamed as he started the car up. 

A FEW HOURS LATER 

They returned to the precinct about three hours later and Zapata felt like she had been hit by a truck. Newton was a rollercoaster of emotions and the young Officer didn’t think she could deal with him much longer. “Good job out there today.” Newton congratulated her as he headed to his office. Tasha gave a soft smirk as she walked in the opposite direction as fast as she could. She wanted to kill him with her bare hands. He was a narcissistic creep who got off on having power over people. He’d been toying with her all night; sliding a hand up her thigh, hand brushing against her ass, and even sweeping his lips across her ear or neck. 

“Whoa! Slow down there you’re gonna run someone over” Silas steadied his former partner as she almost ran right through him and a district attorney. Tasha quickly moved away from his grip “So sorry” she stated as she began to beeline towards the locker room. She felt as though she would puke remembering what Newton did to her. 

“Wait, you’re not gonna tell me how lost you were without me?” Silas joked stopping the brunette in her tracks. He didn’t know how true that was. The District Attorney watched as Zapata turned around and slowly approached them; a nervous look on her face. 

“Tasha, Meagan. Meagan, Tasha” Silas introduced the to women to one another. “Aka the DA, also known as my wife” Tasha plastered on the best smile she could muster. “Meagan, hi! Nice to finally meet you he spends hours on end talking about how great you are...it’s exhausting ” Zapata beamed and reached out for a handshake. She took in the woman’s beauty. Very tall, slender, thick chestnut brown hair and a strikingly beautiful face. She felt like she was talking to Ms. America or in Meagans’ case Ms. Colombia. 

“Likewise.” Meagan laughed as she reached her hand out to the younger woman. “He’s always going on and on about this new recruit who’s gonna ‘go places’” she mimicked her husbands’ voice “nice to put a face to the name.” Silas was too busy inspecting the bruises on Tashas’ face to listen to the conversation “perp get rough with you today?” He asked pointing to the dark red bruising along her face and neck. Zapata fiddled with her hands nervously. “Yeah, it’s nothing though doesn’t even hurt that bad.” She smiled looking between the good looking couple. Meagan seemed worried. “ it’s fine. I’ve had worse trust me” Tasha did her best to reassure Meagan. “Well I know Captain Newton let him have it, right?” Silas smiled waiting for an answer. 

“Oh Captain Newton is her trainer?” Meagan asked glancing back and forth between the two officers. “Yeah took her under his wing today since she’s one of our most promising Officers.” Silas placed a hand on Zapatas’ shoulder. Meagan set a tight smile on her face as she thoroughly examined Tasha in her head. “I didn’t know Newton was into training rookies.” Meagan crossed her arms and turned to face her husband. “He’s usually against it but I guess he made an exception for Zapata” Silas smiled holding his hand up to high five Tasha. “Right an exception.” She rolled her eyes turning back to the rookie who ignored the high five.

“¿estás bien?” Meagan peered into the young woman's eyes she could see that there was something else there. She had been a bright young police officer at the very same precinct and she knew how this place could be; especially John Newton. Horrible memories flooded back into head making her shudder. Zapata should be careful. “Estoy bien, no te preocupes” Tasha quickly responded feeling like Meagan was looking too deeply in her eyes.

“Speaking of the Devil” Silas shook Captain Newtons’ hand as he approached the group. “Do we have a party going on?” Newton’s smile didn’t reach his eyes as he peered between Meagan and Tasha. “More like a conversation.” Meagan’s tone was sarcastic on purpose. Newton took in her curvaceous shape in the tailored pant suit she wore. He missed the sounds of her crying or whimpering his name in the back seat of a squad car or the locker room. His penis stood at attention and he wasn’t afraid to show it off. He looked over at Zapata who bit her lip too afraid to say anything or even look him in the eyes. Precum dripped over his dick and he did his best to keep a straight face. 

‘Zapata was so innocent’ he thought. “ I-I was just on my way out” Zapata directed her attention to Silas and Meagan. “It was really nice meeting you Meagan. Maybe we could have lunch one day.” She put her hand out to shake but this time Meagan swept her into a hug. “por favor ten cuidado Newton es peligroso” she whispered In Zapatas’ ear quickly. Tasha stiffened underneath her and she felt as if she would burst out in tears. How did she know? 

Newton noticed this quick exchange and it drove him mad. What were they whispering about? He pictured choking Meagan until she begged him for forgiveness. His dick twitched even harder picturing her face pleading with him. “Captain?” Silas placed a hand on his boss’ shoulder bringing him back to Earth. Zapata was gone and Meagan stared at him as if he was scum. “Yeah?” He finally spoke. “Maybe you need another vacay” Silas smiled “but we’re on our way home it’s way passed out bedtime “ Newton watched as Silas and Meagan walked off hand in hand. He hated that guy. 

Newton glanced at his watch ‘3:47AM’ this new shift was gonna kill him. He headed towards the female locker room.

After checking to see if the locker room was completely empty Zapata let herself cry. She cried because of being violated. She cried because of the lost of trust. She cried because of how quickly she hated this job. She cried because she NEEDED this job that she now hated. Tasha jumped when she heard a faint creak in the back of the locker room but after waiting a couple of moments and nothing else happened she went back to loading her overnight bag. She hated this shift but it was the only one available for rookies. After slipping on her white tee shirt she turned around and immediately ran into a brick hard...chest. 

As Zapata stared into the eyes of Newton she damn near tripped over the bench that was directly behind her. Her heart sank into her stomach as his face grew closer to hers nearly touching. “What were you and Meagan talking about just now?” He stood with his arm against the locker as he pressed her up agains it. The rookie felt bile rise in her throat but held it back. “N-Nothing sh-“ Zapata started but was cut off by Newton choking her so hard that she lifted off of her feet. Her hands tried desperately to claw at the angry fists that violated her neck letting out a small cry when she was unsuccessful. A stream of tears fell down her cheek as he squeezed tighter cutting off her wind pipes. “I hate liars.” He whispered through gritted teeth as he let her crash to the floor. She frantically tried to catch her breath as she attempted to drag herself away from her attacker. She was now sprawled on the ground too weak to stand and like clockwork his penis let him know that it was awake and ready. He could see her black bra clearly through her white tee shirt, and the jeans she wore clung tightly to her bum. 

He kneeled over her gently pulling her up to a sitting position by her long brown hair “You ready to tell me what my pretty little Meagan told you?” All Tasha could muster was a moan as she slid her feet close to her chest trying to put any distance between them. “Unzip my pants” he instructed as if he was saying pass the salt. Tasha looked up at him through tearful eyes to see if he was serious. He cocked one eyebrow in the air and she shook her head making more tears and snot coming out. “I said, unzip my pants” this time it sounded like a threat. “Newton.” - “I told you what to fucking call me!” he banged on the locker just above her head and she flinched with her arms still wrapped around her legs. 

“John...John!” She said it twice in panic trying to remind herself NEVER to call him Newton again. The large man knelt in front of her and took her shaking hand into his bringing it to rest on his face. “I don’t like being this way.” He whispered placing small kisses on her forehead. Zapata stared at him trying to find something genuine in his eyes. She couldn’t. He slowly stood directly in front of the terrified woman bringing her hand to rest on his crotch making her panic. “No! No” she hopelessly looked up at the giant of a man. “I’ll tell you what Meagan saiiid please” she pleaded with him not knowing that it was only turning him on even more. He pushed a large piece of hair behind her ear as he unzipped his pants revealing his fully erect member. 

Tasha closed her eyes wanting to fully leave her own body as he rested her hand on his penis. “Tasha” her name sounded wrong coming from his mouth. “Tasha!” She opened her eyes to him with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth . She fucking hated him! She wanted to scream bloody murder and viciously attack him but the young officer was intimidated. She couldn’t even move. Newton moved her hand up and down his dick coating it with precum “what did Meagan say?” Newton grabbed her chin with his free hand. Tasha didn’t register what his words as she stared off into space. He lightly tapped her face not wanting to bruise it more than he already had. “Sh-She said...she said to be careful.” Her voice sounded childish and she spoke as if it hurt making Newton pump harder into her hand. Tasha whined in protest. “What else?” He asked roughly. “Nothing!” Zapata was on the verge of passing out. “I know it was something else.” Newton pulled on her hair getting a yelp from her and smiled. “She s-said you were d-dangerous” this came out as a question. Newton laughed as he grabbed her hair and spilled his seed all over her hand.

He pulled her up to her feet so that it would be easier to look him in the eye. “I can make your life a living hell. You don’t want that now do you?” He asked with a smile trailing a finger down her neck. “No” she whispered as she anxiously tapped her leg wanting the whole ordeal to be over. He placed an angry kiss roughly on her mouth and his tongue fought with her lips to gain entrance. Before she knew it his tongue explored the deepest areas of her throat. Tasha gagged as he took a step back. “ I have friends in high places. You don’t want to fuck with me. Ask Meagan” Newton spoke as he patted her cheek and walked out of the locker room. 

Tasha stared after him for what seemed like days. No matter how much she wanted to run out of the room screaming her head off her body wouldn’t move an inch. She was stuck there replaying the days events over and over in her head.

PRESENT

Zapata pulled up to what looked to be an abandoned warehouse with tearfilled eyes. The day she met Captain Newton was the worst day of her life and she would do anything to forget those days again. All of a sudden she saw a black car pull up in front of her. “Must be Deltoro” she said to herself as she got out of the car after putting on her best brave face. the CIA agent approached the vehicle leaning on the window. “Hi, I’m Ta-No!” A man grabbed her from behind. He had one arm around her waist while the other held her mouth shut as he walked towards the trunk with Tasha in tow. The unknown man roughly tossed Zapata into the trunk. “Wait you don’t understand!” She tried but that earned her a punch to the face knocking her out cold. “The CIA would like a word with you.”


End file.
